Reality may bite, but reality stars suck. At least at writing books.

Confession: I’ve only watched one single episode of The Bachelor. I don’t watch The Bachelorette either. It could be my relentless cynicism regarding romance. It could be that I’m teaching class on those nights that it graces the screen. Or, it could be that I simply do not care.

I don’t have anything against many of the various ways people look for love or companionship. If it’s arranged, if it’s online, if it’s on-screen — who cares? The means and ways don’t really matter in the end. If it makes you happy and fulfilled and doesn’t harm anyone, then go for it. But at the very least, be honest about your intentions and what you want.

Courtney Robertson fits none of the descriptions on the back cover of her book, “I Didn’t Come Here to Make Friends.” She doesn’t come off as a villain, though she labels herself so. No, the words I’d use to describe her (based solely on this book–I never watched the show) would be vapid, shallow, materialistic. Nonchalant. Judgmental.

The purpose of this book seems to be that Robertson wants to show her real, true self. She wants everyone to know that she is not a bitch or man eater. She claims not to even know what the term means.

The problem comes when Robertson gets upset over the paparazzi talking about her sex tapes and drinking, which she is insulted by, while freely admitting to guzzling wine before show tapings and having made sex tapes. She doesn’t like that she is called manipulative, but also thinks she had Ben, the Bachelor, wrapped around her finger. So, while she isn’t a villain in the sense of a really evil person, she is sort of hypocritical.

As I said, I’m not a fan of the show. I’m not interested in back-biting or name calling. Courtney fits into a stereotype of what some folks think of when they think of LA: shallow, name-dropping, boring, money-obsessed.

This book reads like a dish-all tell-all rag. If you don’t watch the show, you’re not likely to get much from reading it. Though there are tips for wanna-be models and contestants for applying to the show.

I have a neighbor who might be going on the show; I’ll make sure to have her read this before she does, as a caveat.