What I love about anxiety attacks is that you really feel like you might be dying. Like any second you might just fall over and die. Not a pleasant feeling. (And by not pleasant, I mean fucking horrible. I like to minimize.)

So when I’ve called the doctor over and over and can’t get a response from a doctor or nurse, well that just creates spikes in anxiety. It’s now 3:45pm and no one has returned my call. What a bunch of bastards.

I’ve heard others say that it’s selfish to not use healthcare if you have insurance or some kind of access. But what good is it if you can’t get the care you need? Lately I feel that the care providers I’ve seen have not listened to me, not taken into account each and every symptom. They focus on just one symptom, and treat it. Nothing else. I feel I need something more holistic. I used to rely heavily on homeopathic and herbal remedies, and it may be time to return to that mindset.

On the other hand, being forced to stay at home and rest isn’t the worst thing.

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